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« Dinner at Market Table, 3/08/08 | Main | Dinner at Olio in Naples, Fl. 2/29/08 »
Monday
Mar032008

Deep thoughts & the return of "I just don't get it!?" 3/3/08

After spending too much time in airports this weekend, I compiled a list of things & observations that really make my jaws clench. Why these particular issues bother me is anyone's guess, but I just couldn't keep them to myself!

1. Anklets/ankle-bracelets

2. Chinese-symbol tattoos

3. Guys who are married that DON'T wear their wedding rings

4. Chocolate-brown lip liner

5. Callused feet...Get a damn pedicure or don't wear open-toed shoes!!

6. Eye boogers...This just means that you don't wash your face when you wake up.

7. Bob haircuts that are longer in the front and shorter in the back (think T-Boz from TLC circa early 90's) ...Sorry, but this just screams out, "I'm from a small town in the Midwest or the South!"

8. People who don't say "thank you" after you buy them a meal or drink

9. Talking on the phone to someone who doesn't ask or care how you are...Especially if you're catching up because of distance (living in different cities)

10. People with crappy communication skills

11. Selfish bastards (pertains to women, too)

12. Pompous chefs

13. Guys with bad feet (sorry fella's, this is a total deal-breaker for me)

14. Hipster wannabes

15. chow.com "hounds" who think they're holier than thou because they don't like Magnolia Bakery cupcakes or The Stanton Social

16. Micro-managers

17. Dramatically being asked if you're O.K. because you're not smiling

18. Ordering your burger cooked "medium" only to have it come out well-done

19. Personal trainers who stare at themselves in the mirror while they're working you out

20. Female coworkers who don't "courtesy flush"

21. "Best" friends who don't call or send a card on your birthday

22. Leaders who speak just to hear themselves talk instead of delivering a concise speech

23. Those who will stop at nothing to get ahead in "Corporate America"

24. Unisex bathrooms

25. Couples who feel the need to tell people that "we're trying to conceive" (please, spare me the "trying" details...I'd rather not imagine you two in the act!)

26. If you still believe that he should love you for "who you are on the inside, despite your 30 pound weight gain," you're insane

27. People who take the credit for the work that you do

28. Those who can't seem to comprehend that there's no "I" in "team"

29. People who think they have an awesome singing voice, when in fact, they totally suck at it

30. $30,000 millionaires

31. Fake Southern accents

32. Giving advice to someone who asks you for it, only to react defensively to everything you've said

33. People who are stuck in high school and/or college~Grow up! That was SO TEN YEARS AGO!!!

34. Attention ALL men: Male friends/coworkers/(gasp)boyfriends who talk about how hot that girl is...Right in front of your face! Oh, hell no!

35. Holier-than-thou sales people at high-end boutiques who treat you, the customer, like crap. "Hello biatch! I'm the one shopping and you're the one behind the counter, remember?"

36. Wannabe socialites (ugh, why are there so many of you in Manhattan?)

37. Speakers, with a serious case of cotton mouth, that don't take regular sips of water...Ewwwww!

38. Males, under-the-age of 30, who feel the need to purchase a Wall Street Journal or Financial Times newspaper and pretend to read it while riding on the subway every morning. Hey, if you really do find the articles interesting, fine...But I'm hard pressed to believe that 99% of you fools just carry them dern papers around to prove to every other schmuck on the train that you work, or pretend to work, on Wall Street.

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