IJDGI (I just don't get it!?)
After spending too much time in airports this weekend, I compiled a list of things & observations that really make my jaws clench. Why these particular issues bother me is anyone's guess, but I just couldn't keep them to myself!
Anklets/ankle-bracelets
Chinese-symbol tattoos
Guys who are married that DON'T wear their wedding rings
Chocolate-brown lip liner
Callused feet...Get a damn pedicure or don't wear open-toed shoes!!
Eye boogers...This just means that you don't wash your face when you wake up
Bob haircuts that are longer in the front and shorter in the back (think T-Boz from TLC circa early 90's) ...Sorry, but this just screams out, "I'm from a small town in the Midwest or the South!"
People who don't say "thank you" after you buy them a meal or drink
Talking on the phone to someone who doesn't ask or care how you are...Especially if you're catching up because of distance (living in different cities)
People with crappy communication skills
Selfish bastards (pertains to women, too)
Pompous chefs
Guys with bad feet (sorry fella's, this is a total deal-breaker for me)
Hipster wannabes
chow.com "hounds" who think they're holier than thou because they don't like Magnolia Bakery cupcakes or The Stanton Social
Micro-managers
Dramatically being asked if you're O.K. because you're not smiling
Ordering your burger cooked "medium" only to have it come out well-done
Personal trainers who stare at themselves in the mirror while they're working you out
Female coworkers who don't "courtesy flush"
"Best" friends who don't call or send a card on your birthday
Leaders who speak just to hear themselves talk instead of delivering a concise speech
Those who will stop at nothing to get ahead in "Corporate America"
Unisex bathrooms
Couples who feel the need to tell people that "we're trying to conceive" (please, spare me the "trying" details...I'd rather not imagine you two in the act!)
If you still believe that he should love you for "who you are on the inside, despite your 30 pound weight gain," you're insane
People who take the credit for the work that you do
Those who can't seem to comprehend that there's no "I" in "team"
People who think they have an awesome singing voice, when in fact, they totally suck at it
$30,000 millionaires
Fake Southern accents
Giving advice to someone who asks you for it, only to react defensively to everything you've said
People who are stuck in high school and/or college~Grow up! That was SO TEN YEARS AGO!!!
Attention ALL men: Male friends/coworkers/(gasp)boyfriends who talk about how hot that girl is...Right in front of your face! Oh, hell no!
35. Holier-than-thou sales people at high-end boutiques who treat you, the customer, like crap. "Hello biatch! I'm the one shopping and you're the one behind the counter, remember?"
36. Wannabe socialites (ugh, why are there so many of you in Manhattan?)
37. Speakers, with a serious case of cotton mouth, that don't take regular sips of water...Ewwwww!
Males, under-the-age of 30, who feel the need to purchase a Wall Street Journal or Financial Times newspaper and pretend to read it while riding on the subway every morning. Hey, if you really do find the articles interesting, fine...But I'm hard pressed to believe that 99% of you fools just carry them dern papers around to prove to every other schmuck on the train that you work, or pretend to work, on Wall Street.
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Until we eat again,
Lindsay, The Lunch Belle