Damn you, Haagen Dazs! 
Friday, April 30, 2010 at 4:04PM
The Lady Who Lunches in Funny shit

R.I.P.

Dear Haagen Dazs,

I was horrified upon receiving the following email from one of my readers:

Could it be true?  Did Haagen Dazs discontinue their Reserve line of ice creams?  I couldn't stop wondering.  After the initial shock turned in to panic, I immediately went to your website.  Using the "flavor finder" field, I scrolled through the list of ice creams, and was horrified to see that, not only were the words "fleur de sel caramel" absent, but the entire Reserve line was no where in sight.  Seriously, Haagen Dazs?  Do you really think something that sounds as heinous as Amaretto Almond Crunch could ever live up to Fleur de Sel Caramel?  And what about Pineapple-Coconut, or Mango?  I can't even fathom those flavors in ice-cream form; seems like a waste of milk, egg yolks, and cream, to me.  When I think of tropical fruits, the word "sorbet" comes to mind; definitely not "ice cream."  And no offense, but if you had to remove any of your lines, the first on the chopping-block should have been "Five."  I get the whole mantra about using less ingredients (hence the name, each of the "five" flavors only have, you guessed it, five ingredients), but the consistency of the "Five" product is more along the lines of flavored ice, not ice cream.  It's just wrong.  Who cares if it has less fat?  It tastes like crap.

If I closed my eyes after a bite of Fleur de Sel Caramel, I felt instantly transported to Paris' Ile St. Louis.  The only company that makes a better version of salted caramel ice cream is Berthillon.  Do you realize what a tremendous compliment that is?  How could you take this flavor away from us?

I know I'm not alone when I beg you to consider re-launching Fleur de Sel Caramel Ice Cream.  Our hearts, and grocer's freezer shelves, are utterly broken.  Until that day, I shed a salty fleur-de-sel tear on behalf of myself and fellow "flavor graveyard" mourners.

Sincerely,

The Lunch Belle

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