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Not-so-Hatsuhana (hot-soo-hana)

In anticipation of my 30th birthday, I decided a couple of months ago that it was time to quit smoking.  Again.  For good.  I've nixed the habit on two prior occasions with the help of Chantix, the blue "miracle pill."  Unfortunately, the cigarettes always seemed to have a way of seducing me back.  The excuses/justifications that I made for succombing to the cancer-sticks were ridiculous.  Here are some of my favorites:

  • "I'm only gonna smoke from Memorial Day to Labor Day.  I can't not smoke in the Hamptons - or on my patio - or while drinking outdoors - or, or, or..."
  • "Once I lose the weight, then I will quit smoking."
  • "...but the hedge fund is shutting its doors and I may be out of a job!"

And so, here I am, again: smoke-free and out of control.  Instead of lighting-up, I find myself snacking.  Constantly. 

So yesterday at work, I decided against ordering Ah Chihuahua's "Lunch Enchiladas Plate," and opted for sushi, instead.  Although Hatsuhana's minimum for delivery was $15, I figured that it would be worth it.  After all, the reviews that I had read were positive + the other sushi restaurants on www.delivery.com did not sound too authentic or appetizing. 

Roughly 45-minutes after placing my lunch order online, I received a phone call from the messenger center of my office building alerting me that my food delivery had arrived.  For $16.60 + a tip of $1.40 for the delivery-boy, I received a house salad + one spicy-tuna roll.  As the doors to the elevator shut on my way back to the 7th floor, I looked down in to my lunch bag.  "What the fcuk?"  I gasped, not realizing that there were two other people behind me. 

When I returned to my desk, I removed the contents from my lunch bag.  The spicy-tuna roll was no larger than the length of my index finger + it had not been cut in to slices.  Was I supposed to eat it burrito-style?  The salad, on the other hand, was a huge portion of iceberg lettuce greens that had been topped with some mealy cucumber and about three individual pieces of julienned carrot.  Yawn.

While the spicy-tuna roll was good - note: not earth-shattering - it was tiny, and I felt completely ripped-off.  I'm no sushi expert, but spending almost $20 on this meal felt like I was the victim of a robbery.  Plus, I've had better "house salads" for free on Continental Airlines!

The bottom line/point of this post is: eating healthy is expensive and, for the most part, tasteless.  Here's some "food for thought": if you only had $1, would you buy two bananas or a burger from the McDonald's Dollar Menu?  That's what I thought.  Now, go ahead; ask yourself why our country is in the midst of an obesity crisis...   

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Reader Comments (2)

You are too funny! Seriously had me laughing out loud (I hate using lol ;) ). But i wholeheartedly agree with the message. I smoked from the age of about 14 until right before I turned 29. I quit using a coach and Nicorette. Try 800-quit-now, no joke...it worked for me. Have a great day! Oh yeah, eff the bananas...get a snack wrap!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMark

I applaud your efforts to quit smoking. However, trading a smoke for a big mac doesn't make a whole lot of health sense. It's comparable to trading lung cancer for diabetes, on the extreme end of the spectrum. Maybe you should try brown-bagging it to work and then you have no one to blame but yourself for your "not earth-shattering" meal. Plus it's considerably cheaper to prepare your own food. Try making your own tuna salad. It might not be as fresh as you like but it is certainly less expensive and still meets your caloric requirements without, all the soon to be fat, carbohydrates. Oh and if you really want to quit smoking you will just do it!

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkip

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