Every August 6th, I take time to reflect on the year that has led me up to today. My birthday. What have I learned? What have I accomplished?
31 was a particularly bittersweet year for me. I experienced two heart breaks; literally, one right after the other. The latter, of which, really kicked my arse. Then, I watched as two of my dearest friends moved out of state; and, speaking of moving, in less than 1.5-weeks, I will bid farewell to my best friend. Sigh. On the flip side, however, I made a new group of friends (I'm talking to you, Hollywood!) who have shown me that, at 31, you can still have as much fun as a college kid. Health-wise, I've thrived in my diet/exercise and have, for the very first time in my entire life, managed to maintain a healthy weight. Honestly and safely. ("Healthy" meaning not overweight). And, most recently, Lucy, a pint-sized Maltese puppy, came in to my world. Though weary at first, I have completely fallen for this quirky little fluff-ball who gives me more unconditional love than I could have ever imagined. Or hoped for.
I've thought about this post and its contents for about a month now. I've reflected on all that I have observed (about myself and others), the lessons that I have learned (some, the hard way), and the things that I've experienced and accomplished during my 31st year. As you will see, below, there are some triumphs scattered throughout, but most are personal struggles/road blocks.
While I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, I do subscribe to "birthday resolutions." So, for #32, I resolve to come to peace with the mistakes that I have made over the past year, and tackle those that are mendable. I vow to be more vulnerable in life and love - to forgive myself more often - to follow my heart and trust my gut - and to live in the present.
31 observations, lessons, experiences, and accomplishments
- Our imperfections give us character, and character is what makes us beautiful.
- Men are sensitive, too.
- Sometimes, BFFE's ("best friends forever") are NOT forever. It's amazing how significantly a relationship can change in just one year's time.
- Trust your intuition.
- Rolling your eyes enough times everyday can eventually become a habit. Sigh. Eye roll.
- I am the world's greatest listener. And interviewer. But, when it comes to talking about myself, I struggle. I suppose that's why so many women love being my friend!
- No matter how much weight you lose, you're still the same person on the inside.
- Don't get too comfortable, because change is the only thing that stays the same.
- To make a tough decision, choose the outcome with the least-foreseeable regret.
- "You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened - or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fcuk on." Tupac Shakur
- It is possible to "grow out" of your battles with eating. But not without a lot of help and support.
- You won't ever know unless you ask. Or confess.
- Exercise is a natural, prescription-free "happy pill."
- I suck at saying goodbye.
- ...And tend to overstay my welcome in irrelevant, toxic relationships.
- You cannot make somebody love you. Even if you lose 40 pounds...
- Being vulnerable, especially in romantic relationships, scares the shit out of me.
- I am the world's best first-dater. And interviewee/er.
- If there isn't any chemistry on the first date, cut your losses. There is no need to go out on a second "pity date" and pray that feelings will magically appear. Because, chances are, they won't.
- Note to self: The next time a dude talks about his ex on a first date, remember not to accept a second. Even when your friends tell you to "give him another chance."
- I absolutely love margaritas. Love.
- I have a very hard time not blaming myself/taking full responsibility for anything negative that happens in my everyday life. Even when it's probably not my fault.
- Successful, long-term, romantic relationships seem very distant and far-fetched. It feels way more likely that I'll be struck by lightning twice, or win the New York State jackpot.
- I've always seen the world in "black" and "white." For the first time, however, I'm slowly starting to see the "grey." And it sure is a beautiful sight.
- If I get less than 7-hours of sleep, the next day is pretty much fcuked.
- I much prefer working with men. Most women are just stupid, catty, micro-managing biotches.
- I don't think that too many people - outside of my dad and Girl - are very funny.
- I tend to hold life-long grudges. Whoever says that they are able to "forgive and forget" is fcuking lying.
- I do not like being the center of attention.
- I have some truly amazing friends who would do just about anything for me. And vice-versa.
- I am very, very blessed. I'm not going to say that I'm lucky, because I believe that you make your own good luck.
Until we eat again,
The Lunch Belle