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Entries in Funny shit (42)


Rallying the troops: a follow-up to "Damn you, Haagen Dazs!"

Dear Readers,

For those of you who viewed my previous post, "Damn you, Haagen Dazs," I made it pretty clear how upset I am that the company discontinued their "Reserve" line of products, which included my favorite flavor, Fleur de Sel Caramel.  After sending a displeasing note to Haagen Dazs via their "contact us" form online, I wasn't expecting to receive a response.  However, within a matter of twenty-four hours, I was surprised to find the following in my in-box:

Dear Ms. Lunch Belle,

Thank you for your email letting us know of your disappointment in being unable to find Häagen-Dazs® Fleur De Sel Caramel at your local market. I realize how frustrating it can be to search for, but fail to find, your favorite dessert treats.

Unfortunately, the Häagen-Dazs® Reserve product line has been discontinued. Each year, we evaluate our current flavors and products, and some new ones are added while our slower selling flavors and products are discontinued. However, if we hear from enough consumers who share your views on this subject, we will certainly consider reinstating this product line.

We appreciate your taking the time to contact our company to let us know of your flavor preference.

Mike Knight
Consumer Response Representative

Email: haagen-dazs@casupport.com

Ref # N2315150

In response to my initial post, I've received a number of emails from fellow Fleur de Sel Caramel fans and, based on the above, it looks like we just may have a chance of winning our favorite flavor back.  Notice the bold sentence from Mr. Knight's follow-up (above):"However, if we hear from enough consumers who share your views on this subject, we will certainly consider reinstating this product line." 

So with that, my Fleur de Sel fans, I urge you to email Haagen Dazs' consumer response team: haagen-dazs@casupport.com.  Let's get our favorite flavor back!   

Best wishes and salty-caramel dreams, 

The Lunch Belle


Damn you, Haagen Dazs! 


Dear Haagen Dazs,

I was horrified upon receiving the following email from one of my readers:

  • "Hi Lunch Belle: please, can you rally the troops to send emails to Haagen Dazs asking them to bring back the "Fleur de Sel Caramel Ice Cream?"  I live in Westchester County, NY (can't find it anywhere for the last several months).  The guys over at the Fairway Market informed me it is unavailable."  Thanks, Chowdom

Could it be true?  Did Haagen Dazs discontinue their Reserve line of ice creams?  I couldn't stop wondering.  After the initial shock turned in to panic, I immediately went to your website.  Using the "flavor finder" field, I scrolled through the list of ice creams, and was horrified to see that, not only were the words "fleur de sel caramel" absent, but the entire Reserve line was no where in sight.  Seriously, Haagen Dazs?  Do you really think something that sounds as heinous as Amaretto Almond Crunch could ever live up to Fleur de Sel Caramel?  And what about Pineapple-Coconut, or Mango?  I can't even fathom those flavors in ice-cream form; seems like a waste of milk, egg yolks, and cream, to me.  When I think of tropical fruits, the word "sorbet" comes to mind; definitely not "ice cream."  And no offense, but if you had to remove any of your lines, the first on the chopping-block should have been "Five."  I get the whole mantra about using less ingredients (hence the name, each of the "five" flavors only have, you guessed it, five ingredients), but the consistency of the "Five" product is more along the lines of flavored ice, not ice cream.  It's just wrong.  Who cares if it has less fat?  It tastes like crap.

If I closed my eyes after a bite of Fleur de Sel Caramel, I felt instantly transported to Paris' Ile St. Louis.  The only company that makes a better version of salted caramel ice cream is Berthillon.  Do you realize what a tremendous compliment that is?  How could you take this flavor away from us?

I know I'm not alone when I beg you to consider re-launching Fleur de Sel Caramel Ice Cream.  Our hearts, and grocer's freezer shelves, are utterly broken.  Until that day, I shed a salty fleur-de-sel tear on behalf of myself and fellow "flavor graveyard" mourners.


The Lunch Belle


Spaghettio Surprise

Spaghetti-oh, HELL no!

Per this horrifying article, here's the accompanying video that'll kill your ravenous appetite...just in time for swimsuit season!


Just another $52,000 Lunch at Nello...

A friend of mine sent this to me via email and I just could not help myself!  Enjoy... 

Roman Abramovich (owner of the Chelsea football club, in case you didn't know), in the company of Dasha Zhukova and his son Arkadi, stopped over for lunch at restaurant "Nello" in New York.

“It was obvious from the start that the high quality and type of food took priority over cost,” said restaurant owner Nello Balan. Mr. Abramovich began his dinner with Carpaccio with white truffles, followed by Milan lamb with pasta and parmesan.
For desert, Mr. Abramovish tried Nello's tiramisu.  They were drinking chapagne and expensive wines but "looked no different than any other New York tourists," said a waiter.

Drinks included 2 bottles of Chateau Petrus, 3 bottles of La Tache Romanee Conti (pinot noir), and 2 large bottles (1.5 litres each) of Cristal Rosé ($5,000 per bottle).

The wine only came to $35,000. Pregnant Miss Zhukov was drinking $16 mineral water.

"Mr. Abramovich’s facial expression did not change when he saw the bill," said a waiter, "He only asked if the service was included." The couple sitting at the next table thought they had won the lottery.

The owner of the restaurant gave Mr. Abramovich a soccer ball as memento for being a special client and suggested that he should buy the New York Yankees. Mr. Abramovich replied, “No thanks, I have plenty of problems with Chelsea.”

Total sum came to $47,000 in just 1hr and 18minutes. Although the bill included a 20% tip, they generously gave their waiter another $5,000 in cash.

In total, they spent around $52K for lunch. “Many people make this much money in a year,” said journalists.  They also advised that rapper Jay-Z (who left $1,700 tip in the same restaurant) should "eat his heart out."

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